I had my first migraine at 12 years old, in conjunction with my very first period. So not only was I bleeding, I couldn’t even tell my mom what was going on because the sound of any voices sounded like a full band was playing Back In Black on my eardrums. And every month since then, for the last 13 years of my life I have had a migraine. That is 156 migraines in my lifetime, and that is just so far. For those of you who don’t know what a migraine is, I’ll do my best to explain it. Take the worst headache you have ever had. I’m talking the one where you were popping tylenol like they were candy every two hours and praying to whatever god you believe in that he would just take the pain away. Now multiply that pain by about 100 and you MIGHT have the severe pain of a migraine. If you were to ask a nurse how to tell if you have a migraine, she will ask you if this is “The worst pain you have ever experienced.” If the answer is yes, you are probably having a migraine. After that,  factor in the extreme sensitivity to sound. To imagine this, think back to the very first concert you ever went to. Imagine you were sitting in the very first row, next to the speakers as the band starts to play. Now imagine that sound times 50 and that is what it feels like whenever there is even a slight noise. And when I say slight, I mean it. The sound of fingers hitting a key on the computer keyboard sounds like a bomb exploding inside your head. Then there is the astounding sensitivity to light. When I feel a migraine coming on, I pull all the stuff out of my closet and shut myself in it, because even the most innocuous light seems like you are looking at the face of the sun. For example, I can’t even have my cell phone with me because the light is that blinding. Unbearable pain, Check. Complete aversion to light and sound, check and check. If I’m lucky, I don’t have to deal with the nausea. But every now and again it hits like a ton of bricks. Nausea is an interesting harbinger of misery. And if you do get sick, your generally stuck wherever you get sick at because standing up/running is simply not an option. If the pain and sensitivity don’t get you, the vertigo and dizziness will. More often than not, my migraines last upwards of 3 days. So that is three days out of the month that I can’t do anything but pray that the pain is taken away. And I’ve tried every medication under the planet, both legal and illegal. And nothing helps. I’ve cut out every trigger I have, but to no avail. That is until about 6 months ago. I was over at a friend’s house about a week before my monthly nightmare normally began, and they offered me some weed. I’d had problems with drugs in the past, so I was wary of using again, so I turned it down and explained why. I was of the (albeit misguided) opinion that the use of marijuana led to the use of other more harmful drugs. They explained to me that research had proven that if used responsibly, marijuana would not increase the likelihood I would use other drugs. After they showed me that research, I used it. I have to be honest, I almost choked to death at first. I’d smoked cigarettes in the past, so I figured it was the same concept and would have basically the same effect. It didn’t, and it got easier over time. As my monthly nightmare approached, I began to make the necessary preparations. But it never came. I quickly went over everything I had done differently, and all I could come up with was the marijuana. But I was skeptical. I went online and began to research everything, and found out that marijuana was being used to treat a variety of chronic conditions, migraines included. So I called my doctor and told her what was going on. As soon as I told her what I was doing differently, she immediately began to chastise me, saying that I should have consulted her first. She refused to give me a medical marijuana card and hung up the phone. I was upset, to say the least. Should I have handled it better? Probably. But all too often, people are guided by misinformation and misguided opinions. All they see when they see people who use weed are what many call stoners, or people who can’t function supposedly because they use marijuana. I hate to break it to them, but its not the weed that is making them lazy. It is the person making themselves lazy. I go to school, do my homework, clean my house, maintain relationships, and keep healthy in every other aspect of my life. And I also use marijuana. There has been innumerable studies done on the use of marijuana as an alternative to legally prescribed narcotics, and the marijuana far surpasses even the most potent pain medications on the market, without the horrible side effects. I could stop using weed today if I wanted to, but when I was using morphine to numb the pain I was in, I had to go to rehab to kick the addiction. Not to mention the toll the morphine took on my body. I gained weight, fell back into depression, and even had to have surgery because of the ulcers the morphine caused. I can’t begin to tell you the benefits I’ve experienced since I started using marijuana. I’ve stopped taking any and all prescribed medication I was on for numerous different things, including pain management, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and back spasms. I’ve lost 40 pounds since I stopped taking the medications, and I’ve never felt better. I can’t say for certain that all that is because of the marijuana, but I can say with relative certainty that it was the catalyst that got the ball rolling. My name is Liz, and I use marijuana.

Liz has offered her story to antisoccermom.com and we invite you to do the same. How has marijuana changed your life? Please contact AntiSoccermom on facebook or at mom@antisoccermom.com if you would like to share your story. Thank you Liz!

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

Let’s face it, Insults are fun. More often than not the imagery an insult portrays is better than the look on the face of the person on the receiving end. While it is important to act maturely, and keep your snide comments and snarky quips to the bare minimum, the truth is that some people need to be knocked down a notch once in a great while. When you become a blogger, you do one of two things. You either learn to embrace the insults thrown your way and find some sort of constructive criticism in them, or you freak out over everything and your blog turns to crap.

Sometimes the low blow IS necessary.

Blogging warps people’s brains, and turns a relatively normal human being into a glob of paranoid, self-consumed goo. While some bloggers are living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum and that their brain has the mental agility of a soap dish, other bloggers are spending their time learning the tricks to successfully insult them. When insulting someone that you really don’t care for, always take the high ground, Cross your arms, roll your eyes, and basically do anything your momma would slap you for. Nothing is more infuriating than someone who laughs at you when you are serious, so laugh at your target. Moral superiority is bogus, but if you can act like you believe it, you will win. People get red hot, right quick when confronted with someone who thinks they are better than them. Take a moment to think of the last time you argued with someone. To really frustrate someone go ahead and feel superior, even if its totally fake.

Keep it short. Short insults are better insults, plain and simple. Draw it out and your opponent may get glassy eyed. A simple up-front verbal kick to the nads is all it takes. Remind them you know what you are doing. Speak Clearly. Do not curse, the moment you use a curse word, you have lost all credibility. This is especially true when debating anything serious, religion, politics, and of course baby-makin. Cursing is a very lazy way to speak, and while I insist that curse words have their time and place, it shouldn’t be while insulting someone. Insults are a time to display your vast vocabulary,  dwarfing the other person if possible.

Pick your argument. Stick to it. Even when you are wrong, it’s best to just keep treading water. Commitment is a sign of confidence, even if it is artificial.

Hit em where it hurts. Is it that pretty girl who keeps picking on you, the one you know has the subterranean self esteem? Go for the weak spots, and throw what you know. If someone shows weakness, they are asking to be defeated. Take it, it’s yours. Hot heads lose battles. Whatever you do, whatever you do in a fight, DO NOT get pissed. The minute you lose your cool, your opponent wins. Getting emotional over an insult is ridiculous, step back and think about where you will be in five years, is this something that you are going to remember, or are you whining about your girlfriend borrowing your favorite sweater, again? If you are REALLY ready to unleash the beast, then go for it. But make sure you are really ready. There ya go, some pointers to help you be a professional insult artist.

• You have a mind like a steel trap, anything that gets inside is crushed and mangled.
• You have the personality of a snail on valium.
• You are impervious to brain damage.
• Yo momma’s so fat Her blood type is Ragu.
• In the shopping mall of the mind, You are in the toy department.

Now Go! You can subscribe to my RSS feed and see me right in your email box, Also visit HERE to read my feed.

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.