Since the inception of this website Ive had increasing numbers of self-proclaimed AntiSoccermoms approach me with their stories. It is fantastic to meet like minded people and I would like to encourage you to tell your own story, if not on your own blog, than here on this one. Feel free to write me and let me know how you are being an AntiSoccermom.

 The 6 Steps to being an AntiSoccermom

6. Wear the badge of mommyhood with honor, ditch the mom-jeans. 

A combination of sleep deprivation and a lack of anything freedom-related led me to believe as a young mother it was okay to wear sweatpants to the store despite the breast-milk stains and baby puke. The ability to care for an ill-tempered tiny person overcame the ability to care for myself and I found that little would calm my tanking self-esteem like a good shopping spree and the occassional massage. Just because you are a mom, doesnt mean you have to look like one. Ditch the mom-jeans and spend a little time doing something you love. It makes you a happier, healthier and ultimately a more awesome mom.

5. Who Cares what they think?

If I had to choose to free climb Mt. Everest or spend half an hour with the moms from my kids PTA, I bet you can guess where I’d rather put my energy. Moms, especially in packs, can be an incredibley cruel and daunting experience to undertake and I avoid it at all costs. There is an ugly unspoken mob mentality between soccermoms and antisoccermoms, akin to the highschool cliques of cheerleader vs. drama geek. Much like highschool, the best thing to do is to ignore these condescending "super moms." They will sneer at everything from your choice of coffee to what your children are wearing, their homes are often spotless and their outfits spectacularly in style. They will have the latest hair styles and the nicest SUV’s but their husbands never make it to school functions and they are always flirting with the new PE teacher. Like Wyclef says, Dont believe the hype. There is no such thing as a perfect mom and you don’t have to try to be one. If you can’t shake off their negativity, do what I do and justify their perfection as a clear lack of sexual satisfaction in their lonely and desolate lives. It makes the drama easier to swallow, but Id still take that 8,850 meter trek through the icey wilderness.

4. Despite common practice, Let logic rule.

No one can see through bullshit faster than a pre-teen. Don’t believe me? Lie to a child and see how quickly they call you on it. Instead of sugar-coating this ugly world for your perfect little angel, why not introduce them to a little place called reality? They dont need to win every game of UNO to build their precious self-esteem, in fact, coddling them that way just results in an adult that no one can please. AntiSoccermoms raise their children with honesty. My kids know they get the real deal when they ask questions and because of that they aren’t standing with their little paws out waiting for their golden ticket in life. Be truthful with your kiddos, they know it when you aren’t.

3. So what if he’s acting like a child?

Everyone in the house takes turn acting like a two year old, even the two year old. Problem is, all kids want to grow up faster than they should. Why not allow them to actually retain their priceless sense of childhood wonderment? Embrace the mental age of your children and allow them to spread their little wings on their own time. Healthy relationships are built around experience, dont thwart your children by pressuring them in to the next age bracket. You will be grateful for the chance to slow time just a little and watch your kiddos blossom in front of you. Its all about realistic expectations and letting your kids be who they really are.

2.  Love your children, but not too much.

Ayelet Waldman got a truckload of flack for announcing to the world that she loves her husband more than she loves her children. First, let me say that I think this is healthy and a positive approach to parenting. Second, who cares what the haters say? Loving your children is easy, providing a stable home life is a bit more difficult. Kids should be pretty high on your list of priorities, maybe even third, but you should come before them and so should your spouse. Happy homes breed happy children. If you aren’t happy, your kids wont be so find the one that does it for you and cleave to them. It makes the screaming, crying and inevitable meltdowns so much easier to take when you have someone on your side.

1. Be you. Get yours. 

Here’s a secret. Your husband misses the person he married. Your friends miss the fun loving girl who looked like she gave a damn and let’s face it, You miss You, Right?

The first step to being an AntiSoccermom is to remember who you actually are. Kids are great and can lend an incredible amount of depth to your lifestyle, but its important to retain some sense of personal pride in yourself. Do the things that made you feel great before having kids, and keep doing them after those little monsters come around and suck up all your free time. In finance they tell you to pay yourself first, in parenting, get yours before they get theirs. It may sound cruel, and I know it sounds selfish, but it isnt as bad as you think. Happy moms have happy kids.

 

What do you think? Are you an Antisoccermom?

 

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

According to a study from NORML, Marijuana has been smoked by 95 million Americans. And an estimated 8,120,045 people use marijuana habitually with over 100 uses per year. Since 1965 20 million arrests have been made in the name of marijuana, and it has cost taxpayers an almost countless mountain of money. The government has spent billions of our dollars, fighting the very thing that Americans gladly pay for, each and every day. Marijuana has proven and substantial health benefits and it has been shown to ease tension, relieve stress, treat PTSD and help countless other disorders. Marijuana isn’t a cure all, not by a long shot, but this antiquated sentiment that marijuana is poisoning the minds of our youth is about as outdated as the notion that alcohol is harmless.

Here are some things you might not know, and the answer to the longstanding question, Should we push for marijuana reform?

*Marijuana costs us, Joe Taxpayer, Billions. That’s with a B. We chase, prosecute, and house millions for marijuana related offenses and continue to do so, despite the overwhelming marijuana movement. One person being jailed for a victimless crime is one too many, and our jails are filled with them. Prison systems are full and private prisons have been sprouting up across the country to keep up with the demand to house marijuana related offenders while people who do truly stupid things are let out of jail to make more room for the kid caught growing a plant in his basement closet. (Paris Hilton, drunk driving?) *Crime only pays criminals because we allow it to. Taxing marijuana could reroute billions of dollars back into our struggling economy, end a failed war on drugs, and provide priceless relief for millions of struggling and disabled citizens. It will also put the drug cartels of foreign countries on the run, because let’s face it, no one would be smoking brick weed if the plant was available in your own backyard. The black market drug trade (akin to alcohol prohibition’s organized crime movement) flourishes in place of a legalized, taxed and regulated market. *Marijuana is the intelligent choice for pain control. The government has offered marijuana in pill form, so that they can profit from this anti-inflammatory analgesic pain relieving plant while refusing to admit that the medicinal benefits are valid, proven, and logical. What they cannot deny is that it helps millions every single day, despite the social stigma and legal status.Marijuana can provide regulated pain control without obscurring your ability to function. You can parent your children, love your spouse and fight your pain, can you say that about opiates? *It remains illegal in (far too) many states and the war on drugs has failed to slow, let alone stop the use and distribution of Marijuana anywhere in the United States. 90% of the money allocated for the war on drugs is used to prosecute marijuana related crimes, leaving 10% for all other drugs including heroin, methamphetamines, cocain and the tsunami of crimes related to prescription medications. More people die from prescription medications in one day, than people who have EVER died from overdosing on marijuana, the number of marijuana overdoses has been ZERO for thousands of years. More people have died from alcohol in the time it has taken you to read this post, than have ever died from marijuana. *To allow marijuana prohibition we are telling the government that we would like them to regulate what we can put in our own bodies, a basic human right of choice. I do not care what you do with your body, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t care what I did with mine.

Keep your laws off of my body

End Marijuana Prohibition today.

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.