Fighting is an important part of every relationship. Without the fighting you cant have that steamy make up sex and without that, lets face it,  life just isnt as fulfilling as it should be. With every new relationship, you learn new and interesting ways to fight, but when the stakes get too high you gotta hunker down and stick to the basics.

Know what you are fighting about.

Men and women communicate so differently it is a wonder that we end up having sex at all, let alone living in committed relationships together. When a fight is in process, a man will likely search for a way out of it by trying to solve the problem. A fight with a woman really has no solution, she wants you to know that she is pissed about something you have already done (not done, said, not said) and no amount of backpeddling or puppy dog looks are going to save you from her wrath. Your best bet is to follow the advice this brainiac lays out for you and know what the hell you are fighting about. Take clear assessment (ask questions if necessary) and  a precise inventory of what you did to piss her off. THEN and only then are you able to accurately apologize for your dumbassery and saying you are sorry before figuring out what you should be sorry for, only makes things worse. Believe that.

Keep it fair.

Keep your hands up, don’t hit below the belt when you are in a fight. We all say things we don’t mean and hurt the people that we love and care for. Keeping your fat mouth shut is the easiest way to do this, but keep in mind that your valuable opinion needs to be heard. Fights are for conflict resolution, to squash the bullshittery that needs to be squashed in your life. Take the time to figure out what the actual problem is, and to come to a mutual agreement on a solution. Name calling is for the weak and saying your S.O. is irrational, crazy, or stupid will get you a long hard night on the basement futon. Enjoy!

Finish it.

The cardinal rule of fighting is to fight it out, to the death, they say. This does not mean you need to stand over your girlfriend screaming “Finish it” in your best immortal combat voice while wearing her spine as a necklace. If you are in a committed relationship, why not take the time to honor that and hash out whatever is going on to the best of your ability, I promise it will be best in the long run. The old addage rings true, Don’t go to bed angry. Besides the long term adverse health affects of bottling your anger deep in the pit of your ulcer-prone gut, it doesn’t feel good to go to bed being pissed off at the one person you are supposed to enjoy. Fight  until the end and then hug it out. Once you breach the battle ground and find yourself sitting atop and again thinking pleasant thoughts of your partner, embrace that time and really squash what you have fought over. “I forgive you” means never having to go through that bullshit again, say it, mean it, and drop the drama.

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

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