Twilight Sucks and Im sad to know that.

Posted by December | Posted in MISC. | Posted on 06-07-2009

Tags: MISC.

32

Jesus, What a waste of time.

Last time I wrote about it, It was in refusal to watch the movie. Maybe that was naive, or rude of me in respect to the “artists” involved. Ive had hate reigned down on me from such twilight enthusiasts that I nearly shut down access to my site from the xanga network. You people are really passionate about this drivel. This time, I am writing about Twilight because in a fit of extreme boredom and in light of having to watch shitty B movie after shitty B movie, I watched Twilight. I did it in the privacy of my own home, while my family was out of the house. I did not make a single person watch this tripe with me, instead I subjected myself to 2 hours 1 minute and 50 seconds of the worst splenda-sweetened vomit I have ever seen. Now, lets indulge. Twilight follows on the heels of other super scary movies in which the idealic teenage outcast with the snarky attitude we all wish we had at the tender age of SumpTeen falls in “love” with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Family and friends disparage the union and blah blah blah…. drama ensues. Let me start by saying I had hope. I HOPED that this movie had some merit to it, that it would make me feel those tickly sensations in my nether-regions that great movies can inspire. I had hope that my heart would leap at the site of Edward Cullen and I would be swooned into the romatic world of vampire stories. I had hoped that I could watch this movie and launch into a thrilling blog dissecting the thoughtful sidenotes I found in it. I was not thrilled, nor excited in any way. For those of you who dont know, here it is in a nutshell: Boy meets girl, girl and boy spend more time together, fall in love. Boy shows true side, He is a shiney diamond vampire who glows in the sun. Girl is unafraid. Boy teaches girl crap girl doesnt need to know. Boy takes girl to play Vampire baseball, (no, really!) girl gets into trouble with rival vampire clan who cant help but want to eat her, the rest of the movie is a rough and tumble charade of typical blogger-style rhetoric where feelings aren’t real and everyone is a cry baby trying to outwit/outrun each other.  Girl gets hurt, nearly bites it (tee hee.) True love conquers all, even itself, and girl and vampire boy make it to prom in time. NO KIDDING. The story was crap, the film was crap. The acting, mediocre at best, given the terrible writing quality. Do I think I could do better? Absolutely, give me twenty minutes and a roll of toilet paper and I could come up with a thicker story line. I promise not to equate my love of a relative stranger to a heroin addiction, and I promise not to bastardize the very nature of a centuries long belief in something as simple as vampires. They don’t shine like diamonds and no one is scared of a sissy Emo boy with terrible makeup application skills. Not only did this movie suck, but if you liked it, You suck. This kind of “story-telling” is what lines the pockets of the media mogules and shows the rest of us that you can capitalize on the weak minded, easily thrilled, and brain dead entertainment junkies of the world. (If you loved this movie, Thats you!) For all the people that write long winded blogs about how much this movies means to you, I seriously question the level of your IQ. The hoopla around this movie was enough to keep me from watching it, until last night. I knew that something that “agreed” with so many people, must be terrible, considering people. But clearly, I had no idea how utterly vapid the movie could be. Seriously, Where has true filmaking gone?

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

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32 Comments

• At 2009.07.06 13:26, Taylor said:

  I completely agree with you on this. However, I will admit, I have not yet summoned the will to watch the film, I forced myself through the mindless drivel that is the book.

  I worked in a library for five years, and could not for the life of me understand the obsession with this series. It’s poorly written, trite and cliched. Furthermore, the lack of respect paid to proper vampire lore is just appalling.

  When it comes to the film, I’ve seen bits and pieces (friends who are watching it and I happen to be in the area), and I don’t see the fuss. It’s poorly acted from what I can tell, and poorly directed.

  Good post,

  Taylor

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  • At 2009.07.06 13:33, December said:

    I wont read the book. Clearly it was written with very little interest in societal norms and the construct of vampire lore. I love vampire stories, for the mere fact that they are so romantic, however, this piece of garbage has made me rethink reading anyone born in this century. Thank you for your input Taylor.

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  • At 2009.07.07 13:14, MayhemZERO said:

    Oh, THANK YOU! You don’t know how long I’ve waited for a girl to say that! It was such a stupid and insipid movie! I admit, I have only seen pieces of it when other people were watching, but it looked like it was very poorly-written! In a vampire movie, I expect to see at least one brutal murder! Look at Blade and Underworld! THOSE movies were Vampire movies! This movie was just commercialized tripe!

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• At 2009.07.06 13:26, Wendi said:

  I’m glad to see I am not the only one not enamored with “Twilight.”

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• At 2009.07.06 13:33, December said:

  Stand by, Im certain there are more than just a few.

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• At 2009.07.06 13:51, Jessica said:

  Hey! I’m still sub’d to your old Xanga, so I followed the link.

  I refuse to see this movie, or any of them, and I’m sure as hell not going to read the book. It just looks terrible. I’m waiting for the hate comments like the last one.. err rather the hate blog that came after. Keep it up girl!

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• At 2009.07.06 13:55, gwacemom said:

  I am one of those rare individuals that hasn’t read the book or seen the movie. My daughter (14) is totally opposite. She loved the movie, loved the book, etc. I can’t even bring myself to read the book and I read everything when bored enough. Nice to know that I am not alone.

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• At 2009.07.06 14:33, Allison Lyn said:

  The first book wasn’t all that bad. It was the second one that made me want to bitch slap the main character.

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• At 2009.07.06 15:01, Chantal said:

  Ahahah, it wasn’t THAT bad. It’s pretty much a “turn your brain off and enjoy the pretty for 2 hours” kind of movie. But of course, anyone looking for substance will think it’s horrible.

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• At 2009.07.06 15:02, Mark said:

  I have not seen the movie nor read the books;just not my genre.I laughed at the review though and I suspected as much.

  P.S. Miss you on xanga!

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• At 2009.07.06 15:43, Liz said:

  I haven’t read the books nor seen the movie yet, but I’m going to try and read the books, just to say that I have so that I can finally give an actual opinion on it. I’ve heard that the books are a little better than the movie though, so maybe there is hope for Ms. Meyer yet.

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• At 2009.07.06 16:01, Paul said:

  Well, I refuse to watch this monkey crap. Really I’d rather spend 2hrs napping.

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• At 2009.07.06 16:14, Eric said:

  I have not yet subjected myself to these,but some day I will probably. What can I say? I’m a masochist.

  One thing I must ask you though is have you seen “Let the Right One In”? I just watched it last night. Swedish vampire movie where a boy meets a girl, but it is undoubtedly light years ahead of “Twilight”. I’d recommend it to wash the saccharine pop trash off of your brain palate.

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  • At 2009.07.06 17:26, Taylor said:

    Let the Right One In was spectacular! I watched it about four months ago, and I want to see it again. It’s well constructed, and the end…was just excellent!

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• At 2009.07.06 16:16, SUMR said:

  i will admit that i liked the books and the movie. i guess i just have a different taste in films than you *shrug* and even when i personally disagree with what you discuss, i still think you write about it rather well you did make me curious as to how you would write a film adaption but i won’t make you read the book just to find out *L0L*

  <3 SUMR

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• At 2009.07.06 16:28, Jenna said:

  PAHAHA.
  While I slightly disagree, I couldn’t help but LAUGH when you said “…and girl and vampire boy make it to prom in time. NO KIDDING.” xDDDD

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• At 2009.07.06 16:39, December said:

  I havent seen it, yet. But I will get it post haste. Thanks for the heads up!

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• At 2009.07.06 17:01, Tracy Hunley said:

  I saw the movie (against my wishes) having been over a friends house with a group of people. We were doing a “movie night” and Twilight was chosen so I had very little choice. Everyone in the room loved it and had even read the book prior to seeing the movie and thought the book was amazing. I can’t say that I hated it as much as some, I did think there was an element of attraction between Edward and Bella however I don’t see what the hype is all about. Anne Rice is a much better writer of vampire lore.

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• At 2009.07.06 18:16, emily said:

  agreed

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• At 2009.07.06 18:26, Jenah said:

  THANK GOD! There is some other sane person in this world. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Although I have not seen it myself, I’ve heard enough about it to know I never want to see it.

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• At 2009.07.06 18:31, the_mamarazzi said:

  I was thinking about breaking down and seeing for myself what this Twilight phenomenon was all about. After reading this, I can now say that I feel confident in my decision to remain oblivious to the entire saga. Thank you for sparing me 2 hours 1 minute and 50 seconds of torture. You’ll never get that time back, you know.

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• At 2009.07.06 19:31, Dr Sadasivan said:

  Hi Good morning ASM:
  I haven’t seen the movie but you have said it!Congratulations!I luv Americans for this transparency!
  Sadaboy India.

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• At 2009.07.06 19:56, Holly said:

  :-O I love Twilight! No fair I disagree, but you have you’re opinion so. Oh well.

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• At 2009.07.06 20:38, kwiks said:

  I don’t know, I liked it. Sure it wasn’t a thrilling adventure, but it had a really good loe story. I usually don’t like vampire love stories but this ine I did.

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• At 2009.07.06 23:15, Fion said:

  This is why I like you.

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• At 2009.07.07 03:59, Eddy said:

  Saw the movie. I can say it was ok, not spectacular, but different. I can’t understand the fascination with it. Robert Pattinson…is freaky as it is, nevermind the character he plays. Kristen Stewart is also a bit freaky.

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• At 2009.07.07 09:45, Elias Leone said:

  I totally agree

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• At 2009.07.07 12:21, Madwriter1022 said:

  I am glad to finally find someone who shares my opinion on the movie. As a paranormal romance writer, people often compare my unpubished book to Twilight. My main character is a human female, and she unknowingly falls in love with a male vampire. The simularities end there. I hate my work being compared to her’s based on that sole reason. I think her writing is mediocre and the movie was terrible. I’m sad to say my 12 year old owns a copy and loves it. But, you know he is a part of the world’s largest consumer group. Way to market a book and movie Meyers!

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• At 2009.07.07 15:18, Samuel said:

  It was not good. I had a point of reference that lent me some bias, but in and of itself I would have been left thinking …. um wtf???? I saw the movie, have not read the books. Sorry, but vampires dont glitter. And the only reason he “loves her” is because she has a special kind of blood or something. Not because of any merits on her part. Near as I could tell, he hadn’t really done shit that was “lovable” either, except to make his hair look like a broken haystack or something

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• At 2009.07.07 16:07, bhndthemask16 said:

  Ok, everyone is allowed to have their own opinions on whatever they want. However, to tell someone that they suck just because their opinion is different than yours, well that is just rude. I loved the books, and yes the movie pissed me off, they could have done it better, but I still liked it because its a nice thing to get lost in when I need a break from the world, even though it sucks compared to the book. But to tell me I suck because I like the movie a bit, is just an attempt at making people feel like crap due to having differing opinions. If I hated hated hated something you liked, and told you that you sucked just because of it, wouldn’t you be kinda mad? However, I wouldn’t, because I have no problems with people having different opinions.

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• At 2009.07.07 19:52, r said:

  The film is crap. It absolutely is.

  The books…. well, most of the books are crap too. The first one: Twilight, is the ONLY one that is ALMOST worth reading. The second one was irritating, the third one made me angry. It made me so angry I underwent a self-imposed four month hiatus from all things Twilight-related before starting the fourth book. I made it to the first night of the honeymoon before I was already irritated with the characters.
  I can’t bring myself to pick it up again and finish the damned thing.

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• At 2009.07.10 10:53, Salem said:

  Exactly.

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