Terrible Family Photos and where they went wrong.

Posted by December | Posted in MISC. | Posted on 09-06-2009

Tags: families, family photos, horrible pictures, MISC., photography, portraits

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Every year I take the time to dress up my three young children and force them to smile in the direction of a camera. Usually this turns out well and their beautiful faces can be seen smiling with the best of em. Though this is my family’s story, it is not everyones. Here are a few of my favorite family pictures, brought to you by the internets and asm.com.

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This seems like a simple way to differentiate between the males and females of this family, a thoughtful gesture on their part. However, emasculating the men in the family by making them wear hideous sweaters married with khaki pants and military style hair cuts will only breed insecure serial killers. Just sayin. ******************************************************************************************************************** Yep, thats right. These adults have donned on their favorite winnie the pooh character costume to forever humiliate their little baby that unknowingly thinks that today was the single greatest day of his short little life. The little tyke is having a grand ol time it seems and I suppose that is the biggest part. However, pictures can last forever. Lets stay away from costumes? ******************************************************************************************************************** So wrong, for so many reasons. Let me explain. Parents: You are required to raise these little monsters into successful adults that are willing to contribute  this society to make it a better place. Looking back on my childhood, had my brother come anywhere near me in this fashion my guess would be that it would take a small surgical team to remove my foot from his rear. Dont force your kids into odd and ridiculous poses, they will NOT thank you later. Trust me. ******************************************************************************************************************** A family trip to Sea World becomes the one photo we just cant show grandma from our trip.  We don’t know what this guy was thinking, but he seems to be in an advanced state of foreplay here. Perhaps mom’s missing right hand is to blame? She looks guilty. ******************************************************************************************************************** Matching outfits- $74.99 per person Professional Photography Fee- $124.59 Stealing your children’s dignity while crushing them with your own body weight- Priceless. If you can’t see the fear in their eyes, you aren’t getting through to them. ******************************************************************************************************************** Speaking of serial killers, this young family of six has set an all new standard for family photos. One of these geniuses decided that bringing in the stuffed animals of each family member would somehow change the nature of the family photo into something entertaining. This is a failure. The only person in this photo that doesnt look like they have just cooked their cat in the microwave or snapped the head off the neighbors kids toys is the tiny kid in the middle. The one with the “Please dont let me go home with these freaks” look in his eyes. Look for him, you will know it when you see it! And PS…. This is a terrible photo idea but whoever gave the front kid the apple had a serious lack of forethought. ******************************************************************************************************************** This is the beginning stages of Arrested Development. Listen closely mom, your dancing career is either going or it is over. My guess, from the 80’s getup and the perfect posing of your innocent children, is that it is in fact, over. Perhaps you could spare them the humiliation? I fear that this photo has some prominent display area in the homes of these adults. I hope their children own good running shoes.

Special thanks to THIS website for most of the pictures I have used in this post.

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

Related posts:

1. Q&A The Terrible Two’s Edition
2. How Women are Doing it Wrong.
3. Helicopter Parenting- Stunting our children’s success.
4. Dear D-bag,
5. Child Expectations

29 Comments

• At 2009.06.09 12:28, Bryan said:

  I got more nervous as I scanned down thinking…”crap I hope she didn’t find any photos from my family online.” LOL!

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 12:29, December said:

  lol, point me in their direction!

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• At 2009.06.09 12:42, Kelby said:

  Haha!!! I’m so glad I didn’t see last years Christmas picture in there!!!! *whew!!*

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• At 2009.06.09 12:55, emma said:

  fuck.

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• At 2009.06.09 13:05, AndreAnna said:

  That site is one of my pick-me-ups. Whenever I feel down about myself, somehow seeing a grown man in an Eeyore costume makes me feel AWESOME.

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• At 2009.06.09 13:06, Paul said:

  oh lord lol

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• At 2009.06.09 13:25, Angela said:

  I can’t believe some of these people didn’t realize it was a bad idea before hand. Hell, even AFTER they reviewed the proofs and still purchased prints.

  Lord Almighty.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 13:51, Levanna said:

  I can’t believe it. The family with the jeans and the white shirts? Yeah. I know the girl on the bottom on the left.

  No joke.

  Wow.

  Hehe. love it.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 13:52, Derek J. A. said:

  The Sea World One is killing me! The photographer must have a pretty good sense of humor or a complete lack of sense.

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• At 2009.06.09 15:50, AlterEgo909 said:

  LOL!!! oh gosh

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 16:33, BC Shari said:

  Looks like they were ripped off from this site http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

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• At 2009.06.09 16:43, December said:

  except that isnt where I got them, so meh. I bet the internet police really appreciate all your detective work!

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  • At 2009.06.11 15:47, BC Shari said:

    I just started a blog and “borrowed” some of your posts for my own. I call it Trailer Park Mom – A Guide To Multiplying And Collecting Child Support. So, meh. You call the internet police.

    PS Be sure to use that clever line that the role of the biggest bitch on the interwebs is already taken. You haven’t pulled that one out in a while.

    [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 16:46, DommieGirl said:

  Wow, that is horrible.
  I always hated family pictures.
  That’s why we don’t have any.

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• At 2009.06.09 19:52, Devin said:

  http://www.denverpost.com/ci_12553560

  Man, I can’t wait to come home

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 20:00, December said:

  holy crap HOME SWEET HOME!!

  I take it frank talked to you about your buddy, right? Hit him up if he hasnt already.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.09 20:13, lonelywanderer2 said:

  Wow; these are going to make some therapists very rich someday!

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• At 2009.06.10 01:15, Fion said:

  Wow, that’s horrible. I am now extremely, extremely glad that my family doesn’t do family photos, really. Only on vacation, and barely then.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.10 09:19, GarrE said:

  I saw the last picture and also thought “Arrested Development”… the one with Buster and Lucille’s history at the Mother-Boy dances. So wrong.. so awkward.. but such great comedic fodder!

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• At 2009.06.11 21:12, December said:

  I will keep my role, and you can have the one of the idiot who took the time to make an entire website in attempt to deflate a post I wrote about Twilight, the movie. Yowza.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.06.16 10:45, Undercover_Librarian said:

  Oh My Lordie! Thankfully I’ve escaped most of the embarassing family photos. Although there is one where we all are wearing red, and look like we’ve all seen ghosts. Except for my dad, he’s Guamanian, he wouldn’t look pale if he DID see a ghost. All the white faces around him, just made him look darker.

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• At 2009.07.23 01:52, chicas con webcam said:

  any changes coming ?

  [Reply]
• At 2009.10.29 03:56, Forced Pissing said:

  now i`ll read your rss

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.08 23:45, Deutsche Junge Sex said:

  I should email my girlfriend about this.

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.14 23:16, Hot Shemale Porn said:

  mm.. thank you for this style

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.19 13:13, Dougles said:

  Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
  Thank you
  Dougles

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.24 11:05, Dolly said:

  ,
  Thank you
  Dolly

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.25 01:35, Emoticone Sexy Gratuit said:

  mm… cognitively te xt ) d

  [Reply]
• At 2009.11.29 06:33, Dolly said:

  Hi,
  Can i get a one small picture from your site?
  Dolly

  [Reply]