Dear Dude driving on I25 next to my car, I saw you swerving through cars while I was roughly a quarter of a mile back, I also watched as you changed lanes without taking the time to turn on your blinker. While I find this  more than a slight nuisance, I also find it incredibly unsafe as did the other motorists you were screwing over. When I catch a driver like you, I typical make a mental note of the plate number make and model of douchebag cars like yours. I find my cellular phone to be relatively simple to use and since I am one of those people that doesn’t have an emotional phone call that includes arm flailing and swerving, like yourself, I can adequately snap a photo of your car and plate without putting my life in danger. When I eventually made it near enough to you, despite your super manuevering, to be concerned for my well being, I snapped a shot of your plate. If I died, at least it would be knowing that you went down in a fireball with me. When I pulled next to you, my hands shaking from the adrenaline of dodging your erratic bullshittery and you proceeded to make that V shape with your fingers and force your tongue through it in my direction, I nearly puked.  Puking is neither attractive, nor lady like, and I wanted to be neither in front of you. First, lets discuss. Clearly you did not see who you were violating with such an offensive hand gesture. I am a lady, despite the rumors. More importantly, you drive like an asshole. Furthermore, No woman in the history of women has even been enticed by this handgesture. Not one of us sees some sweaty corporate-paunched pencil pusher with this V shaped mouth and a limply flailing tongue and thinks you have anything more in your khaki iron-free pants than a sad little weiner that wouldn’t know what to do between those metaphorical legs anyhow. Lastly, I am so way out of your league. In light of all of this, I am writing to apologize for flipping you off. It, too, was unlady like and I shouldnt have done such a vulgar gesture in return. After all, Two wrongs don’t make a right. Or something like that. I am truly sorry that I flipped you off, and I hope that you accept my apology. It was not my intention to block you behind that truck for so long, I honestly didn’t think you would get so upset that you tailgated me until I ever so slowly moved out of your way. I am very sorry if I frustrated you. When I first decided to flip you off, its because I saw the cop that eventually pulled you over. I saw him, well in time to correct my speed from ten below and make you slam on the gas and speed right by me. I saw him and when I smiled and waved at you as you sped by me in huffy puffy madness, I was crossing my fingers that you wouldnt see him before the lights came on. Some days, Karma slides my way. Today was this day. I hope you got a ticket Douchebag. Sincerely, AntiSoccermom

© 2009, AntiSoccermom. All rights reserved to the original author unless stated otherwise.

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